110 W96th St Suite 1D, New York, NY 10025 (Tuesdays & Fridays) - Call: (347) 631 8350
Virtual Therapy throughout New York and In Person Therapy on the Upper West Side, NYC.

110 W96th St Suite 2B, New York, NY 10025 (Tuesdays & Fridays)
Call: (347) 631 8350 Virtual and In Person Therapy in NY

Relationship Counseling

Do You Get Tired Of Having Constant Fights and Painful On-And-Off Relationships With Your Significant Other?

man and woman arguing across table

Are you struggling with figuring out if you should save your relationship? 

Do you feel like your soul left your body after the breakup? 

Perhaps you are trying to understand the breakup, and trying to move on? 

There’s No Sugarcoating It: Breakup Sucks.  

You may ask yourself why this keeps happening to me. What is wrong? It doesn’t make sense. The ending of a relationship from breakup or rejection is the best time for counseling because you will question yourself on dating, future relationships, and the opposite sex. It is the beginning of transformation and healing. I am here to guide you through a positive transition. We can let go of the ending of a relationship and we can grow and embrace that which is coming.

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Let’s Face It: Every Relationship Has An Expiration Date. 

woman with hands around knees on bed

Whether it is through a breakup, divorce, or death. It feels like a loss because it is. It is the loss of a relationship, your heart feels like it is breaking, and you feel your heart exploding from the pain. You may even panic or have trouble breathing. You probably cannot stop crying and stop thinking about your ex. You may try to replay the memories over and over again to understand what happened. 

Relationship Issues And Loss Can Be Difficult To Overcome Alone 

That’s often because there are the five stages of grief that you have to work through. The five stages are denial, depression, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You may feel those five stages in no order and not ever reach acceptance. Residual trauma from previous toxic relationships can also affect your current relationships. Together, we can free you to find the love you want. 

Understanding What Happened And How To Handle The Breakup

Through breakup counseling, I can help you understand what happened. I can show you why this always happens to you and why you did not see it coming. Together we can uncover a different perspective and identify what’s going on in your ex’s state of mind. I can provide insight into interpreting their emotions. After a breakup, you might blame yourself but I will help you see that the small things did not matter anyway. 

My experience understanding and handling breakups, especially those you do not want to happen made me realize that men and women are very different. It baffles me how little men and women know about each other. It also surprises me that there is not much good dating advice for single people. Times have changed and you cannot rely on your parents for dating advice or married friends. It is my hope through providing counseling for relationship problems and therapy after a breakup, I can help you increase your chance in finding love.

Following Through With The Breakup

You have no control over a breakup if you were dumped or rejected. The only thing you can do is learn how to respond and handle post-breakup. Together, I will walk you through what to do if your ex contacts you, or what to do if your ex wants another chance. My role will be to help you navigate post breakup such as deciding whether to keep contact or no contact, and remaining friends.

Relationship Counseling Can Help You Move On And Rebuild Your Life After A Breakup 

At the moment, you might be ready to date again and dip your toes in the water but want some guidance. Therapy is a chance to reflect and put the breakup in perspective and reframe the future so you can date again. 

What To Expect In Sessions

Therapy for relationship issues and breakups is about digging under the surface. I want to help you learn about your attachment style (secure, insecure, avoidant, etc.) and identify the core beliefs that show up in your relationships and dating life, such as a faulty mindset (“no one will ever love me” or “I don’t deserve to be love”).

Oftentimes, these beliefs can be traced back to your first love and your relationship with your caregivers. Maybe your early childhood relationships made you believe you are not enough or you do not deserve respect, time, and attention. Maybe you had abusive relationships with your caregivers or abandonment that leads to you replicating it in your romantic relationships. Together, we can unravel these core beliefs and help you step it up in dating!

Tailoring Your Treatment Plan

My approach to relationship therapy involves a mix of psychoanalysis and cognitive behavioral therapy. I use psychoanalysis to help you gain insight and understand the opposite sex and challenge patterns from the childhood experiences that may hold you back from finding the love you want. Cognitive behavioral therapy coaches you and provides you with direct action to achieve your goals in dating and relationships. 

I also have a no-bullshit approach and provide some direct exercises and challenges for you to complete through the week. Emotional honesty is being accountable to yourself in moving forward with transformation.

You May Have Some Questions About Counseling For Relationships...

How long are the sessions before I start feeling better?

Relationship counseling depends on how long the relationship was, what your goals are in therapy, and how deeply impacted you were by it. On average it takes about 10-14 sessions to start feeling relief and a difference. 

I do not have a mental illness, can I still go to therapy for life transitions for rejection, dating, relationship issues, and breakup?

Yes, most of my clients go to therapy for emotional growth and to help them overcome their fears. Through our sessions, you will find yourself changing slowly and steering the boat in the direction that feels right to you. 

What if therapy cannot help me?

From my personal experience, therapy has helped me with dating and also other friends. I’ve seen growth and transformation in my clients. It is more fun to try. Building rich, strong and secure relationships is a skill you can learn and master!

How often are your sessions?

I offer 2 to 3 times a week sessions if needed during a crisis or for deeper work especially during life transition phases that provide you more time to be reflective or slower times such as summer. Most clients do it once a week with me. Some start twice a week with me in the beginning to accelerate change or get more support. I do not offer twice a month or once or once a month, or drop-ins because I find that twice a month and once a month to be not effective for the style of therapy I work in. It is hard to build a relationship and see deep transformative change with less frequency of sessions.

You Deserve To Get The
Love You Want

If you want to understand, grow and heal from relationship issues and breakups, contact me to start your journey. You can email me or text/call me at 347-631-8350 to set up a free 15-minute phone consultation.

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Therapy with Shanni

Offering Virtual Therapy Throughout New York and In Person Therapy on the Upper West Side, NYC.

110 W96th St Suite 1D, New York, NY 10025 (Tuesdays & Fridays)
Call: (347) 631 8350
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