Couples Therapy On The Upper West Side

Are You And Your Partner Practically Living On Different Planets?

Are differences between you and your partner resulting in stress, conflict, and miscommunication?

Does it feel like you’re roommates or like you talk at—and not with—each other?

Is it beginning to seem like your differences are irreconcilable?

I know from personal and professional experience that being in chronic conflict with your partner often feels like throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. You’ve tried everything in terms of getting through to them, whether you’ve avoided tough conversations, been forceful in your communication, or given ultimatums. Over time, this has caused you to lead separate or parallel lives where you’re simply cohabitating instead of creating a life together. It totally sucks.

Do You And Your Partner Come From Different Identities Or Ways Of Engaging With The World?

Relationship conflict is tough as is, but it’s made worse by the fact that you and your partner seem to view things on entirely different terms. Especially if you come from divergent backgrounds, you may find that you’re approaching your relationship issues with seemingly incompatible solutions or values.

As a systems-oriented, Imago-trained therapist, I’m a great fit for couples whose diverging backgrounds make them feel like they come from different worlds and speak different languages. Whether you’re in an interracial relationship or a neurotypical/neurodiverse pairing—including struggles with autism, ADHD, and OCD—the counseling process can help you actually feel like a connected, loving couple again.

Turns Out Your Partner Isn’t The Perfect Match After All…

Here’s the thing—you didn’t pick your partner because they’re just like you. In fact, you picked the most difficult partner possible in an effort to receive and master the love that you didn’t get as a kid. Imago therapy views partnership as an unconscious mirroring process that reconnects to the “lost self,” deeply tied up in childhood wounds and attachment patterns. 

In layman’s terms, you’d be too bored to be with a partner who gave you everything.

So, what does this look like in reality? One of you is emotionally available, while the other is a bit more closed off. One of you is anxious and one of you is avoidant. Each of you come from distinct backgrounds that have affected your identity, outlook, and abilities. Not quite a match in heaven—but it’s not doomed for hell either. 

In couples therapy, you learn how to speak the same language even when it feels like you exist on different planets. As you discover not only how to accept—but embrace—the differences you bring to your relationship, your partnership can feel whole again.

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Therapy For Interracial And Neurodiverse/ Neurotypical Couples Through My Practice 

As a therapist working with people throughout New York City, I have experience counseling clients of all backgrounds. My couples therapy services are particularly well-suited to high-achieving, professional couples of diverging backgrounds, whether you’re in an interracial couple or one of you struggles with ADHD, autism, or OCD, while the other does not. I know what it takes to see you both through this process.

My Approach

Couples therapy is designed to be both trauma-informed and insight-oriented so that healing and repair happen quickly. Being mindful of the varying perspectives each partner brings to the counseling space, I individualize the process and ensure cultural competence based on each couple’s blueprint.

A key aspect of my approach as a couples therapist is Imago Dialogue, which is an effective method for improving communication and teaching the essential skill of mirroring. Instead of being focused on the qualities of your partner you want to change, the Imago model nurtures empathy and self-accountability. Those same qualities in your partner that have been driving you crazy will soon return to the qualities that drew you to them in the first place.

How do I know that Imago Dialogue works—especially for couples from divergent backgrounds? Because this therapy saved my own marriage. Once my husband and I learned how to reconnect through dialogue (I’m Chinese; he’s Jewish and on the spectrum), we developed a stronger understanding of one another and the chronic disagreements in our relationship softened. Through couples therapy, we learned how to let each other be our authentic selves.

With the right approach, counseling can transport you and your partner back to the same planet. Not only will your relationship heal through this process—it could become stronger than ever.

Common Questions About Couples Counseling…

We’ll be judged for seeing a couples therapist.

So many clients have the fear that a therapist will judge their relationship or determine that they’re too f***ed to be helped—but the truth is that even the most “picture-perfect” couple you know struggles with disconnect and miscommunication.

As your therapist, I want to encourage you through this process, helping you understand that seeking help signals strength, not weakness. It shows you’re committed and willing to work on the relationship.

My partner won’t agree to couples counseling.

It’s important to have your partner’s buy-in when it comes to going to therapy together. Otherwise, only one of you is actually committing to the work. If you’re having a tough time convincing them to see a couples therapist, tell them I don’t bite! I will make this process as gentle as possible for you with the aim of making you both feel seen and heard in therapy.

Therapy will take too long to make a difference and we need help stat. 

While repair doesn’t happen overnight and every couple’s timeline for therapy is different, I do think that it only takes a few sessions to experience how a therapist can facilitate a calm, productive conversation. Most couples report seeing improvement within the first one to three months of therapy, and I’ll teach you regulation and communication skills in the very first session.