110 W96th St Suite 1D, New York, NY 10025 (Tuesdays & Fridays) - Call: (347) 631 8350
Virtual Therapy throughout New York and In Person Therapy on the Upper West Side, NYC.

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Call: (347) 631 8350 Virtual and In Person Therapy in NY

Women: Who do You Date When You Have 2 (or More) Options?
dating options women choosing shoes

Having choices are never a bad thing, not even when it relates to dating. Unless you are indecisive, in which case it can become quite complicated. Have no fear if that describes you! Here are a few helpful bullet points to make your decision-making easier.

Career and Responsibility

It’s 2022. No woman wants a man who doesn’t have a few things put together, a job being one of them. Look at who has a more stable career. The man doesn’t have to bring in six figures working on wall street, but having a stable gig is high on the pro’s list. He also should be established with some level of responsibility. He isn’t your child; he is someone you want to potentially share a life with. Who seems to have their affairs more in order?

Life Goals

Evaluate your own life goals first. What are you hoping to achieve five years, ten years, or even thirty years down the road? You want to have someone with you for the ride that inspires you and helps you reach those goals. Have a discussion with both (or all) of your dates and see what their aspirations and motivations are. Who will help you excel, and who do you want to provide the same support for?


Are these men home-bodied people, or are they still living the social lifestyle? What are their main interests—music, sports, finances, academic topics, travel, etc.? Who do you share common interests with? Do you have similar interests that would lead to successful long-term dating? I know they say opposites attract, but you also need to make sure you are compatible.


In similar discussions, ask your date what their values are. Are they family oriented? Are they a workaholic? How important are money and material things in life? You want to know their priorities and how they match up with yours. Nothing is worse than starting a relationship with someone only to find out you don’t share the same values. Have this conversation early on, so you don’t waste time. Who meets you on your level?

Relationship With Your Inner Circle

Which person would get along better with your friends and your family? Your inner circle is the best judge of character, as they know you better than you know yourself sometimes. Who will they take a bigger liking to? Maybe you need to bring your dates around them to find out. Get their feedback. After all, whomever you choose will be spending time with them. You want to have a great relationship in the future. You also want to choose someone who thinks the same about your people. If either of them has to put on a fake face in the moment and express their dislike or incompatibility later on, they are not the right one.


This might be the most important point of them all. Which of your suitors balances you out the best? Who is the yin to your yang? Whomever you choose to date should be someone you can see yourself facing all aspects of life with. Your best friend. Your partner in crime. Think of it like this. If you are having a great day, you received some great news, and now want to celebrate…who fits that position for you? On the flip side, if you are having a horrible day and need someone to comfort you, who would you call? Trust your gut on this. It is generally right.

Do you feel like you are a contestant on a dating game and can’t choose the right person? Let me help you explore your pros and cons list further! Contact me today to learn more about relationship counseling.

Therapy with Shanni

Offering Virtual Therapy Throughout New York and In Person Therapy on the Upper West Side, NYC.

110 W96th St Suite 1D, New York, NY 10025 (Tuesdays & Fridays)
Call: (347) 631 8350
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