There is a lot of pressure to get married, to have children, and to create the white picket fence life. You begin to feel like your dating pool is shrinking, and as you age, you may start to feel like you’ll be single forever. Society definitely doesn’t help on the anxiety front.
Passing by these expectations year after year can weigh you down and sometimes make you feel like a failure. Don’t get discouraged! Rewrite your narrative.
As your biological clock ticks, use this time more constructively and consider it an opportunity. During your younger years, you were still figuring life out. Mistakes were probably made. Now you have a better handle on your wants and can approach dating with a much clearer mindset.
Trust Your Gut
Your intuition is probably right more often than it isn’t. Trust in yourself and what your gut is telling you. As your clock ticks, you may feel more rushed to find a partner and be more prone to turn your head the other way.
Look for any red flags a potential partner may be giving off. Also, watch for more subtle signs that are less obvious. If you are feeling uneasy about a person, odds are, it is for a valid reason. Don’t let your timeline lead you down a path with someone who isn’t a good fit just because you’re in a hurry.
Have a Mental Wish List
If you’re still single and finding yourself on a mission to find a partner, by now, you should have a good handle on what qualities you are looking for. This doesn’t mean you should have a strict checklist for any partner to meet each box before considering them. That is a recipe for remaining single. No one is perfect!
Having a realistic wish list of desirable qualities lets you weed out some suitors who may not be a good fit. You are allowed to be selective just as much now as you would be in your younger years. A good match is still a good match at any age.
If you don’t have a wish list prepared, spend some time reflecting on what you really want in a life partner. When you meet the right one, it may move fast.
Accept the Uncomfortable
Being single is hard. As you get older and that societal stress gets heavier, it can become uncomfortable to accept that reality. If you are having issues with being single, it may lead you to the wrong partner for the sake of being in a relationship.
When you are ok with being single and loving yourself, you can focus more clearly on finding a partner that matches your energy and complements you rather than carries you.
With the clock ticking, it can be very easy to find yourself stuck in the future. When you have marriage and possibly babies/family on the brain, it can result in you trying to fit a person into a mold rather than finding a person who you can create that vision with.
Be present in your dating life. By focusing on a future that isn’t a reality, you surrender precious time from your present. Balance is important. Sure you should have dreams and think about your wants, but don’t live there.
Relationships and the process of dating can be difficult to navigate. Rather than letting the clock ticking make you panic, embrace the fact that you have more knowledge and experience now. If your clock is making you anxious, contact us for a consultation to talk through it in relationship counseling.