It’s 2023, and while it seems like the world has become so much more progressive and accepting, there still do exist many “social norms” that place certain subject matters into a taboo constraint. As women, that can be even tighter.
One of those taboo topics is sex and intimacy. We live in a time where the culture around it has been rather boxed in, and it can be easy to look to external sources for what is allowed and discouraged.
Instead, we could all take notes to release our inner Billie (hello, Netflix Sex/life) and give ourselves permission slips to have more authority over our own lives.
Trust In Yourself
One of the first steps in giving yourself permission is learning to trust yourself and your choices. Deep down, your mind and body know what is good for you and what you desire.
Trust your instincts, even if it goes against what others say or what you have been led to believe if it no longer fits you. Maybe permitting yourself to be intimate is exactly what you need in this moment, even if it doesn’t pan out right for the bigger picture. Trust your path to give you exactly what is needed in this very moment.
Let Go Of The Need For Approval
Get rid of the opportunity to be judged or disempowered by someone or something other than you. Giving yourself permission means letting go of the need for approval from others. Your ability to give yourself that permission slip will improve greatly once you stop seeking external approval. Plus, your comfort, need, or want for intimacy may differ greatly from someone else’s. The last thing you want to do is miss out on having this wonderful, fulfilling experience because someone else wasn’t as interested.
Give In To What You Want
Wanting and needing are two very different things. So are having to and wanting to. When it comes to intimacy, it shouldn’t feel like a forced act. Let go of any thoughts of having to be intimate or feelings that you need to be intimate in a certain type of way. Explore what things you want out of your intimate experiences. Ask questions of your partner. Create boundaries and change things up when needed. Talk about forming a connection and establishing its importance.
Grant yourself permission to feel intensity, comfort, connection, joy, and safety during an intimate session. And be comfortable with things feeling the opposite of those mentioned so long as it’s consensual. Embrace the journey of it all.
Acknowledge What Limits You
Is it an idea in your head of what you think you want? Is it some external factor? Do you have patterns that you are unconsciously following? You don’t have to wait for the perfect relationship to become intimate. Nor do you need to check off every box before doing so. It is ok to let go and be open to a new experience. Maybe you’re missing out, and you don’t even know it.
Sometimes people wait to be intimate for the perfect scenario that doesn’t come, and they miss other opportunities in front of them. Permit yourself to open up your mind, and in return, be open to intimacy on a different level. Was it a bad experience that has overtaken your ability to open up again? Choose to let that go and give yourself permission to try again. Mistakes happen. It’s the natural part of life. Don’t miss out on future happiness.
Giving yourself permission can be a process in itself, even more so when it involves intimacy. If you find yourself having a difficult time allowing yourself this permission slip, contact me today to see how relationship therapy can help!