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6 Important Questions to Ask Your Date
women and man eating dinner on first date

So you’re dating someone new! Whether you met via mutual friends, bumped into one another at a social gathering, or connected on an online app, there’s likely a lot you don’t know about them. We all want our happy ending, and no one likes to waste their time. Here are some questions to help you get to know your date more quickly.

1. Are You Looking For Something Serious?

This may seem like a taboo question, and many people avoid it. Definitely understandable! It’s a scary one to ask, and the last thing you want to do is scare your date away. But it’s 2022, and the dating world has changed. You want to learn what the other person is interested in gaining from this relationship. What are they looking for from you? This may be one of the most important questions to ask early on to ensure neither party is wasting their time. If you find your paths don’t align, it’s better to know before you become emotionally invested in someone who isn’t going to reciprocate those feelings.

2. When (& How Long) Was Your Last Serious Relationship?

A two-for-one question here. While it might seem like none of your business or something you don’t need to know about your date, there is a lot you can learn from this. Their answer can give you insight into their comfort with commitment. If their idea of seriousness is only a couple of months, this may be a red flag.

In conversation, you may be able to find out additional details, like whether or not they were living together or if there were any behavior patterns to be aware of. This question can also determine if they are over their ex or still hung up in any capacity. If it was recent, there could be baggage remaining.

3. How is Your Relationship With Your Family?

Not everyone is close to their family. How a person manages their familial relationships can tell a lot about them. If family values are important to you, you may want to find out who their family includes and how close they are with them. Not only can you learn about their values and relationships, but you can also learn more about their upbringing. Will your traditions and values align with theirs over time (if that’s what you’re interested in)?

4. Are You Religious?

Religion and spirituality are very personal practices and vary more today than ever before. You may be interested in finding out what, if anything, they practice. Knowing what someone’s beliefs are can help determine compatibility. If you follow two different religions, or if only one of you is religious, it could create obstacles in the future. It will be helpful to know if this warrants a deeper conversation or if you two simply aren’t compatible.

5. What Are Your Main Interests?

This is a great lifestyle question. You want to discover how important hobbies and activities are to your date. Are they a health enthusiast? Do they enjoy sports or are arts more their speed? How important are politics, environmental causes, or any other social causes to them? Compare this with what you find important in life. Do you share similar interests and goals?

6. What Are Your Personal Goals For The Future?

Maybe this is a more modern take on the question of where you see yourself in 5 years. It’s so hard to put a 5-year plan on life anymore. Find out what your date plans to do in the future. Do they have high aspirations to conquer the world? Are they looking for a settled-down life in suburbia? Asking about their goals can open a conversation to see if you two are on the same trajectory.

Is dating causing you stress? Contact me to learn how relationship counseling can help you navigate the dating space!

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Offering Virtual Therapy Throughout New York and In Person Therapy on the Upper West Side, NYC.

110 W96th St Suite 1D, New York, NY 10025 (Tuesdays & Fridays)
Call: (347) 631 8350
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