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6 Dating Red Flags
love bombing woman in pink dress

Online Dating Safety -

Maybe you had a first date that missed the mark and something felt not quite right. Maybe you’ve been on a few dates and are questioning some behavior.

Are you ready to move into more serious territory, but have a feeling of uneasiness that you can’t wrap your head around?

You might be onto something, but overlooking it at the same time. Relationship red flags often go unnoticed until it’s too late. Whether you’re new to dating or have been around the block a few times, it can be easy to miss them when you really want to like someone.

So what is a red flag? It truly differs from person to person. Depending on what your personal values and beliefs are, it can sway what is considered problematic. Some red flags are universal, as they can be potentially dangerous.

Love Bombing

Love bombing occurs when you rush into a relationship and everything feels grandiose. The goal of this behavior is to make them more desirable by making you feel like the most important person from the start. Through frequent compliments, excessive communication, and gift giving, you get sucked into an intense relationship too fast. This may also happen by spending too much time with a partner and sharing intimate details rather quickly.

This can be the start of an abusive relationship and it’s possible they are not in a healthy place in their own life. The phrase “it’s too good to be true” can be applicable here.


Many people enjoy when their partner feels a twinge of envy. Jealousy, however, can be a very toxic emotion. It demonstrates a lack of confidence and can lead to other negative emotions.

Does your partner dislike you hanging out with friends, regardless of their gender? Do they get defensive of boundaries you have set? Will they get angry when someone tries to chat with you in a social setting? Any of these can be a red flag that your partner is harboring some jealousy and can lead to controlling behavior.

Lack of Motivation

If you are a go-getter, you want someone to match your energy and drive. Do they have career aspirations? Do they have big life goals?

This doesn’t necessarily have to do with work. Are they interested in fun date ideas? Do they want to try new things with you? If you find they never really commit to you or complain about having to do activities, you could be entering troubled waters.


When you’re in a relationship with someone who is supposed to care about you, this is the last thing you’d probably expect. This is a method of manipulation where your feelings or experience are not being validated.

If your partner is constantly downplaying your thoughts or negating your emotions, it can get really unhealthy. Gaslighting is abusive and interferes with your cognitive processing and sanity over time.

Lack of Communication

The building block for any healthy relationship is communication. No relationship is going to be perfect all the time. When conflict arises, communication will be what gets you through.

If your partner is unwilling to have the hard conversations, or any important talk, it can be a sign of emotional unavailability.

Your Friends/Family Opinions

Your circle of people, whether family or friends, are there for a reason. These are people who know you better than anyone. You may share the same values.

When they are not vibing with your love interest, it can be a pretty big red flag. If your partner is not getting along with your friends and/or family, pay attention. Ask them what about your partner doesn’t agree with them. If they all say the same thing, take that into consideration.

Red flags can be a sign of more significant troubles or abuse for the future. If you are having doubts about your relationship, contact me today to find out more about how relationship counseling can help you navigate the dating sphere.

Therapy with Shanni

Offering Virtual Therapy Throughout New York and In Person Therapy on the Upper West Side, NYC.

110 W96th St Suite 1D, New York, NY 10025 (Tuesdays & Fridays)
Call: (347) 631 8350
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