If you’re here and reading this, odds are you have found yourself in a relationship with a narcissistic person. If you’ve found yourself in multiple relationships with a narcissist, you’re probably wondering why you keep attracting this type of person. The truth is, there have likely been warning signs along the way that you missed.
Being a little narcissistic is not a bad thing because we all possess selfish qualities. However, a true narcissist makes grand displays of neediness, a superiority complex, and lacks empathy, all culminating in a personality disorder.
If you’ve been in this situation more than once, here are some tips to help you avoid this attraction going forward.
1. Know Your Worth and Needs
At the end of the day, you don’t attract a narcissist as much as you subconsciously choose them. Narcissistic people will feed off of someone who will give them the time and attention they want. If you have empathy and are agreeable, they will spot that and use it in their favor. There are many tools in their toolbox that can get a grip on you and will start to feel like an addiction.
To combat this, know your worth and what you bring to the table. Understand what your gifts are and how valuable you are. Understanding your worth will attract the right kind of person and a more healthy relationship.
Always keep your needs in the forefront of your mind, and remember you deserve good things. You deserve kindness and respect from those with whom you choose to form a close relationship. Maintaining this focus will make you less attractive to the narcissistic personality.
2. Spend Some Time Self-Reflecting
Having empathy makes you a highly sensitive person. You can read and vibe off of the energies around you. If you are attracting narcissistic-like personalities, you need to spend some time reflecting so you can protect your energy.
Evaluate the people you spend time with and the environment you are socializing in. Know when you need to say no to situations or people. Your alone time is equally important, if not more. Being able to function independently will also make you less attractive to the narcissistic person because you’re demonstrating you don’t need them.
In your reflecting period, take a look at your track record and any patterns you may have. Learn to identify those red flags in order to walk away from them before they become anything to lose sleep over.
3. Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries in any relationship can be difficult, especially if you are not familiar with doing so. It can be significantly harder if you have strong feelings for this person and want their approval.
Establishing your personal boundaries allows you to say no and avoid things you are uncomfortable with. The key to it, though, is to hold strong once you have set your boundaries. If it isn’t bringing you joy/satisfaction and making you better, then say no. Honor yourself.
4. Build Confidence
Narcissist-like people are going to be attracted to the ones they can control. Becoming more assertive and confident in yourself will deter some of those narcissistic people.
Know your values and your worth, and stick to those ideals. Do so with confidence. Being your genuine self will attract healthier relationships and lead to longer-lasting, more successful outcomes. Never be afraid to walk away from someone who gives off red flag vibes. If you spot it first, they have no hope of controlling you.
Dating and forming meaningful friendships can be hard enough for adults. Maneuvering negative and toxic behaviors is something no one needs. If you are having difficulty breaking the cycle with narcissist-like people, contact me to see how relationship counseling could help.
